2.10.2009

confessions of a drama queen (princess)

The school is having its annual standardized testing this week.  All schools use different tests and different standards, so I have begun to doubt there worth.  The powers that be seem to find them necessary therefor we keep taking them.  El Paso is the first location where they have given the test to all grades.  Lucky me all the kids get to endure 8 hours of testing this week.  Emma, my child who does the best on these types of test, is of course, completely beside herself with performance anxiety.  Someone, somewhere told her that if she failed this test she would not be going to second grade.  She has been worried sick since she heard that.  Despite my reassurance, that the test is not going to keep her in first grade forever, she refuses to believe anything I say.  Getting ready for school on the first day of testing we went round and round about the meaning and use of the test. 
 She said, "mom I am worried."  
I replied, "About what?" even though I was sure I knew what.  "Mom, I don't want to take the test."  
"I know honey, but just remember to do your best."
"Mom, if I get a zero on the test will you still be proud of me?"
"Emma, if you do your best and get a zero I will still be proud of you.  But, Emma you are very bright and you will do fine."  I tried to comfort her.
Wringing her hands she looks down and says in a guilt ridden voice. "Mom, I have a confession to make."
"okay, what is it?"  I ask trying to keep it light.
"Mom, sometimes in school, I don't listen to Ms. De La Cruz.  I mean I am sitting in class and I am quiet.  But, school is so boring and I was born knowing all this stuff that she is trying to teach us and I just can't listen to her one more minute." At this point she starts crying, but she continues. "Sometimes, I pretend I am doing my work and I draw on my desk or I play with my hands.  I mean, I don't interrupt but I just keep thinking,'when is she going to stop.'  So, I know I am going to do just terrible on this test!"  Then she throws herself into my sniffing and sobbing and says "Can you forgive me?"

OH MY. Boys are so much easier.
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