Hungry, Thirsty & Bored

These are the new names for my children. The additional 3 dwarfs no one mentions. I am forever hearing, "I'm Hungry"  "I'm Thirsty" or/and "I'm Bored"  I am not sure how this came about.  I am sure I named them Mark, Jack and Emma.  Yet, it seams every time I turn around I am being re-introduced to my children, as they state most emphatically I'm (insert hungry, bored or thirsty).  I have tried several different methods for ending this struggle.  My first approach was humor.  As they introduced themselves as one of THE 3 I respond with, "nice to meet you.  I'm Mom."  Or if I am feeling particularly mischievous, "Mucho Gusto.  Soy Mama."  This is typically received with little more than an eye roll.  Although, I do get an occasional sigh as they are again subjected to moms "attempt" at humor.  Next, I usually try logic as I say, "What should we do about that?"  or "How can I help?"'  Again the eye roll.  Sometimes they just  look at me blankly.  It is SO obvious that I am completely insane!  Well of course I need to wait on them.  "I need a drink."  Or  the more popular "What can I eat?."  follow in the logical progression.  At least we are getting somewhere.  OK. Next step.  "Do you know where the glasses are?"  If yes, then do you know where the water comes out of the faucet?  We progress logically through these steps until they are completely fed up and ignore me completely.  I'm bored is a bit trickier.  Being a busy mom, my solution to boredom usually includes a list of chores that need to be completed.  "Well, I am glad you are bored because I was looking for someone to clean...."  My third and last attempt is usually complete lack of empathy.  Basically, I ignore them until they get tired of me and move on.  I know this is not the most effective form of teaching.  Yet, the endless stream of demands on a day to day basis can really drive a mom insane.  Some times they may be asking nicely yet what I hear is, "WENCH, FETCH ME MY DINNER."  "THE KING IS IN NEED OF HIS ENTERTAINMENT!"  "HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU THAT MY GLASS IS TO REMAIN FULL!"  As a parent we try to teach our children to be self sufficient.  It is a long road we travel to get there.  I know perhaps someday I will be pleased with the results. (I hope, I hope, I hope) . For now I suffer daily as my children insist on being called Hungry, Thirsty and Bored. Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho.